I love cosplay and we have been fortunate to get some awesome cosplayers on our site (though we would love to see some more!) However with Erin Brooks (@Erinsgobragh on Twitter) there is a personal story that had resonance with me and some of my personal experiences. Here we have both the Wondervixen cosplay and also the story behind it.
You can see more about Wondervixen and her emotional struggle in The Perfect Platinum Collection
In the original story, Wondervixen is captured by Mega Fox and injected with a strange liquid. Now she sees herself as fat (based on a real life condition known as body dysmorphia, as discussed below). She is tortured by a voice in her head and driven by guilt and as the issues unfold we learn more about her past and what drives her (You can see the issues in the archive as well if you want to read individual issues, though the collection has some exclusive extras)
WARNING- This blog does discuss sensitive topics including body dysmorphia, mental issues and emotional trauma.
I’m honored to do my first commissioned cosplay as Wondervixen, from Reynard City Comics!
It was like a someone or something took control of my mind. The image in the mirror was never good enough. It started when I used food to composite my stressful situation at my Mom and Dad’s houses. As care taker to both disabled and abusive parents, I was drowning and I found comfort in food, to the point where at 3’5” I was 136 lbs.
I’ll never forget the day my father laid it out to me. “Erin you’re fat I’m sorry but you’ll never be supermodel pretty.” That was it! I needed to show up my father and gain some semblance of control on my life! The restraint of food was my choice.
With the lack of each bit, the loss of another pound, and the view of a new bone prodding out was a powerful high. But I was completely miserable. I would starve myself for a day then binge to the point where I wanted to die from feeling so full the next. Looking in the mirror I’d fear the image staring back at me. What most people saw as a skeleton, I saw as a chunky and still needing to lose weight person whom I was never happy with.
When I thought I had control I was actually spiraling out of it. It took losing my grandmother to snap me out of it and to fight. To realize that the life I was living was no life at all. Anorexia and body dysmorphia will always be a part of me but I have control over it, not the other way around. I’ve found self love no matter what I see in the mirror, because I know that what is in my soul is radiating with a magnificent beauty!
Wondervixen suffered as I did. She too battled with her control when she was injected with parasites to manipulate her self-esteem and cause her to spiral into body dysmorphia. She too finds that her true power lies in her heart and soul and is able to over power the evil that infested her.
Have you ever suffered from any eating disorder or body dysmorphia?
If you or anyone you know is dealing with issues around body dysmorphia or other issues, help is available, for example you can talk to Mind in the UK. We also recently reviewed a book about possible forms of therapy, link here.
I just wanted to say on a personal level thank you Erin for sharing your story as well as this fantastic Wondervixen cosplay and I look forward to working with you again.
You can also see fantastic work by RayeRayeChan, Foxybop and other cosplayers in our cosplay gallery.